*F r i e N d S h I p * r E T r O G r A d E*

There is this terribly inconvenient thing that happens sometimes called FRIENDSHIP RETROGRADE (working title). It’s when all your friends go out of town at the same time, are on tour, sick, or at a wedding over the weekend, or are sick. It can really be an emotional curve ball, let me tell you.

When friends are in town, it’s easy to feel like you’ve nailed interpersonal relationships--you invite them over for pound cake. They invite you over for a beveragino and some garden weeding. It’s beautiful. You’re connecting with people you’ve chosen and who’ve chosen you back, and, as my friend Diana Ray used to say, “You’re sliding down a friendship rainbow.”

And then, all at once, EVERYONE’S GONE. And further, IT’S NO ONE’S FAULT. It just happens. I pretty much only know what Alexa (I know, I know) tells me about astrology, but I’m sure this is a thing. Like, “your friendship moon is in the 12th house of sadness” or something.

Anyway, can you tell this just happened to me a little while ago? LOL. My close friends are amazing and a lot of them are gone rn, so if I want to hang out, I need to make plans with newer friends (who I am stoked to get to know), but for whom (in my mind) I need to clean my house/porch more thoroughly. “I know this is how you make more friends BLAH BLAH okay MOM, I get it.” But still. FRIENDSHIP RETROGRADE. It’s real.

If this is happening to you, I want you to put both arms around yourself like we all did in middle school when we were sitting in front of our friends and pretending to make out with an imaginary person. Only this time, give yourself a little shake (not a full on baby shake, but a gentle rock) and repeat after me, “People LIKE me. I have value. I have a friend family who loves me and who I love. Pretty soon my new friends will be on my close friends list and my old friends will seem like chopped liver (J/K). My friendship moon is just in retrograde.”

K, now, go make a delicious sandwich, champ.